So pleased to have come across this site. I've been married for 12 years and love my wife. We have 3 kids, the youngest is 4. I've always been HD and in the early years so was my wife, but the more kids and the more tired she became from focusing on being the perfect mum the lower her interest has become. I could count on my hands the number of times we have ML since the youngest arrived, and in the last 6 months its probably been twice of what she calls quickies i.e all over in less than a minute as she worries the kids will find us etc. I probably feel worse after because it make me think I've now got a PE problem as well!
She hasn't initiated for years and I'm so down from the feeling of rejection.
Her favourite avoidance tactic is to let the youngest sleep in our bed & i get farmed off to his!
She sometimes says she loves me & we hug & kiss - at my initiation. It's so hard not to go off & have an affair (& I have had offers!), but I can only see that adding to the problem. At the moment I'm having to 'sort myself' out every day otherwise I just think & stew about sex all the time. It's become the be all & end all.
I just don't understand how or why she won't see this as a problem. To me ML is the most natural, satisfying relationship enhancing thing there is. I feel like a walking timebomb that will explode and end up Divorced, financially stuffed up and awfull about letting down the kids.
I've tried talking to her about this in the past. But she just doesn't want to face doing something about it. She says her SD will come back in time when she gets less tired. I help with the kids & around the house & I don't seem to be in trouble or nagged or smell.
What I just don't get it that she doesn't seem to hate be intimate, just wants to avoid starting the engine.
I've read chapter one & will get the book. But in the meantime any advice?
