Hairdog said: "My refusing to act like a victim has gone a long way toward me feeling less like a victim, and to her seeing me as a stronger man."
Exactly. Doesn't it come down to the fact that we teach people how to treat us?
Even if it is subconscious, I don't think women respect men who let a woman call all the shots, whether in the bedroom or not.
Men probably feel the same way about women.
We all have created these relationship "monsters". Some of us are also enabling this behavior to continue.
I feel like I am really starting to get a handle on this in my own M. H knows what I expect and vice versa. We are no longer willing to compromise.
Of course, both people need to be on the same page in order for this to work. Not sure if there is anything you can do to "make" your spouse engage in the process but standing up for yourself not only makes you feel better about yourself but gains your spouses respect at the same time.
