You are still looking at this for the negative. It is not a conditioned response to intentionally "hurt" the other person. It is merely a conditioned response of words. Why is she conditioned to give that response when he asks "wanna fool around"? I don't know the answer to that, it could be her history, it could be something in her everyday life leaving her overwhelmed at one more request of her...I really don't know. But her conditioned response isn't intentionally to hurt.
Pavlov's dog didn't intentionally drool on the carpet to make a mess when he heard the bell ring....he just drooled at the conditioned response of the bell indicating food.
For her her "no" could just be a knee-jerk reaction to his question that could sound like another demand of her time, something she gets all day long from other people, kids, co-workers, whatever....at least now she's beginning to figure out that she does this...and how she really operates.
