You had said If you are pretty sure she will feel bothered don't bother her as a suggestion to avoid being rejected and disappointed, as well as to avoid angering/frustating the LD spouse. I agree with that - but if you know your spouse is LD, you recognize that a significant portion of the time (in most cases, the majority of the time), asking for S will (a) bother the LD spouse and (b) result in rejection. Unfortunately, there aren't many positive alternatives for the HD spouse.
I know if I asked and she said yes, I would probably need CPR to recover from the shock-induced heart attack! If she initiated S, I would be convinced that an alien had taken possession of her body and was preparing to kill me in flagrante delicado. (Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but 1.5 years w/no S tends to skew your perspective a bit.)
