I think the point of the question "how 'bout foolin' around?" is not so much "Shall we ML?", but more if the wife is in the mood, or not repulsed with the idea of some hanky panky, and maybe some LM (or not).
What you said makes sense but by asking the question you run the risk of interrupting what may turn into a good thing. You either A) distract her and make her stop going with the flow of feelings or B) have asked to soon before the flow becomes a current that she does not want to deny.
I don't want to 'bother' my wife each and every night simply to hope that 'this time I'll get some' where most of the times it might annoy her that I am 'pressing for ML all the time'.
Gonna put this simply as this. If you are pretty sure she will feel bothered don't bother her if you are unclear if she will feel bothered test the water. If you are trying every night yeah she does probably feel pressured and resentful which are not good feelings to build desire off of.
My H use to annoy the hell out of me with this. There are clear indicators at times that tell you your spouse is not going to be receptive to you. Just from my perspective I will name some.
If I have been puking my guts out all day with a headache don't bother me with wanting sex if you do you will be rejected and more then likely if you try the next night I will be thinking of how much of a insensative cad you are and still not want to have sex. If you have been so sick all day that you could not either go to work or leave the couch don't bother to try to have sex that night. I will then feel you fringed sickness to be lazy and get pissy which will probably last a day or two. If we just had a huge fight or I am really stressed out don't bother because even if I say okay it will be resentment sex. Which hmmm is not good sex. If we have had sex frequently and I say no and you make pity yourself noises or show signs of feeling sorry for yourself don't bother to try the next night either I am going to be pissed with the lack of respect you showed me and this will last a day or two if left alone longer if you keep trying.
This is a pattern my H should know trying to have sex after any of the above mentioned is not recieved well. I have told him so repeatedly. But he just keeps on and on and on trying. I feel like he must be dense at times it is so simple Chris is sick her inners have felt like they are trying to become outers today I should respect her enough to not try to have sex with her today.
perpetual disappointment
You run the risk of this either way it goes if you try and get shot down or if you decide not to try to avoid getting shot down. Just as the LD partner experiences this if you try every night. The dynamics of those two little words being paired together are endless
Now a Chrissy question. One thing that drives me nutty is that implicitly, if we are expected to push for it all the time and with the chance of scoring like 1 out of 20 times.
Who other then yourself expects you to push for it all the time? It is your wants that push you no one elses?
If you tried (hypo question here) to have sex with your mate 20 times in 30 days and you only score 1 time. Would you stand to achieve the same score if you only tried 15 times in one month. Because unless you score always on the 15th to 20th try odds are pretty much the same either way. And do you start recounting after every encounter or wait until you achieve the 20th try mark? Point to this question is just wondering how much we exhaust ourselfs with useless trying . Trying to iniate trying to avoid it all seems silly if less effort brings us the same result. I am really stressed out with all the trying out of how to feel what a person does not feel.So I may just be rambling now sorry.
