Moving On with H

[BeingMe]

I like to watch something funny on tv, to perk up my mood. Been watching Craig Ferguson tonight - funny guy!

In the meantime, my H had noticed that I'm not myself, and we had a little discussion earlier tonight, and he feels I am still angry. I told him I'm not angry, but I am hurt, and confused by his lack of action (for want of a better phrase). I explained that I need to be able to talk about things, but when I do, then he gets defensive, and upset, so then I just shove it away. Eventually, I am going to call it quits if things don't change soon, and I think deep down he knows it, but still seems stuck. This is affecting me physically, and psychologically, I think. Ugh! I've had enough of my life. I think I need to get away for awhile.

Thanks EE and Cat for the encouragement, and understanding. I don't get that from anyone else in my home life, that's for sure. I don't know what I would've done without this bb. I think I would be D'ed by now (which may not be such a bad idea), but probably still festering with resentment, and anger.

BTW, EE ... my H never actually left (he had a long distance EA with his high school sweetheart, with whom he never consummated their affection - he was too shy), but we did have separate bedrooms for a very brief time. We actually were intimate all through our little saga, me initiating, and him accepting it with guilt. Then, suddenly, when it seemed he was reconnecting, it all seemed to stop, or slowed down very much. Seems that happened around the time I asked for more romance, and intimacy, but what I didn't know is that he had been in contact with OW still, all that time when he had told me and MC that it was over (he says she had nothing to do with it, and refutes that anything happened to slow things down). He did end the EA eventually after I had decided I did want a D, then he was back again, and we have recommitted to the M. Everything else is fine, except this little aspect, which is a rather important part of M, it seems, as is the trust I lost. Anyway, long story, and maybe I will post it again in detail one day, if anyone is even interested.