Moving On with H

[BeingMe]

Although, I find myself in the depths of finishing off an assignment and reviewing work for exams next week, I am still able to take the odd break and reflect on life and all the idiosyncracies that go with living. There are so many variables that make up a content and satisfied life - health, job satisfaction, financial concerns, spirituality, family and friend relationships, and the list just goes on and on. Top of the list, for me, is self-knowledge and awareness. Without knowing oneself, you are unable to be empathetic, make the right decisions, bounce back from disappointment, and so on. How can someone who doesn't know who they are, deep down, be a good spouse, a good friend, or a good parent? Of course, one cannot have this knowledge all at once - we grow in more ways than size. I think it is the seeking that makes us truly human, and aware of what potential we can reach.

Eh, enough with the philosophizing .... had an interesting convo with my H the other day, and he says his depression is very much linked with job satisfaction (told him he was just in a rut), lessening of his paternal role, and some frustration with trying to start his own business, worried about finances, etc. All the stuff that makes life not as much fun as it could be, 'eh! I told him, that I have always known him to be someone with a generally positive outlook on life, and see this period of time, as his being in a rut, and needing to find a way to motivate himself. Other than that, I couldn't really give him any advice, except to share some of the things that I have discovered about myself. I bought him a book, "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, and he is reading it (I am surprised). I hope it helps him resolve these issues.

Back to the books! Ugh! Hope you are all enjoying the summer, wherever you may be living. Hey Phoenix, what's happening?

Anyway, below is a quote from Daily OM:

June 26, 2006

You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do
Becoming Your Wrong Decisions

Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that "wrong" decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our "poor" decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence-what makes you a unique entity-exists independently of your decision-making.