Moving On with H

[BeingMe]

One thing frustrating me now with regard to my relationship with H, is that he wants me to want/like to do the things he is interested in. I do try and show an interest, but some things leave me bored. I can see how it hurts him, and makes him feel I am disinterested in him, but I can't pretend, can I? On the other hand, he has no problem showing his boredom at stuff that interest me. I always listen to the goings on at his work, and try and understand the ins and outs, and let me say that he has a complicated job - luckily, I am pretty intelligent, enough that I don't ask stupid questions. Ha! When I worked, he was very rarely interested in my day. A pretty one-sided sitch, and I'm not sure how to address this. I don't want this to become a bone of contention between us. I will have to think more on this.

Another thing that has been happening - again - is that he is rather taking me for granted (esp. with regards to ML). Whenever we have a crisis in our M, we manage to work it out, and not long after he starts doing this very same thing. I don't expect romance or deep intimacy everytime we ML, but I also don't want to just be there for sex, and that's it, without some effort being made. I will need to think more on this too.

I had a great session with my C yesterday. Started working on my childhood issues, and she wants me to make a collage of the place where myself as a child can go to be safe, and the things that would be there, and the people who would be there too. I guess I have to start nurturing the child inside of me - the child that reacted to pain with either numbness or anger, and I carried this into my adulthood. I am quite artistic and creative, so I have been thinking about how I could do this, and things I would have. I am thinking secret garden, on an island surrounded by the sea representing the ebb and flow of my emotions, negativities in my life, yadda yadda.

Anyway, just journalling, and unloading my thoughts. Hope y'all are having a good week.