I guess no-one can fully understand and grasp the experiences, good or bad, or another's life. We all handle different thing differently, however, there are always enough similarities that one can empathize, and apply some to their own sitches. I suppose that is one of the reasons that DBing often works.
For me, my abusive first M, lasted 3 years, and I decided it was time to leave. I doubt I would've stayed even if my XH had started using DBing techniques. I wasn't, unfortunately, just married to him, but to his whole, dysfunctional family. It was bound for failure, and I knew it 6 months into the M. I have heard of women staying in similar M's for far longer, even into old age, but that's just not me.
Anyway, I am just getting it out of my system, so hope I don't bore anyone with the failings of my life. I have, actually, had a very interesting, and fun-filled life, and I have very few regrets, because I seldom allow myself to act the victim, or be a martyr to anything. This whole sitch with my present (and hopefully for-life) H, was a lot to do with his MLC, and my attitude to life not quite being the same as his. Sure, I had fallen into a rut, but I sure woke up fast, and jumped right out and got back into the business of living. I had allowed myself to live my life avoiding the things I fear, and playing it too safe. And, I had never really been that way. I always enjoyed jumping into the deep end, so I must've started looking pretty boring to my H.
Well, as long as we continue to learn from negative experiences, and move on, then our lives are not a failure. IMHO, anyway. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to deal with it, not just learn from it, and I have stuff that I should've dealt with at the time, instead of moving on too quickly. And, stuff from childhood, that I had little control over, or so I thought. I think most of us have issues we need to deal with, but tend to ignore.
Well, my new semester has started, and I have a lot of assignments due this month. Back to ye ol' books!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I had allowed myself to live my life avoiding the things I fear, and playing it too safe. And, I had never really been that way. I always enjoyed jumping into the deep end, so I must've started looking pretty boring to my H. 
