Moving On with H

[BeingMe]

I am feeling really down in the dumps today, so just need to vent.

I am not very happy in our new city - I have made no friends to speak of, the church people here are very clicky, I have had to change from full-time studies to part-time (which means correspondence and will take longer), our house needs so much work, H is trying to start a new business, my two middle kids have gone back to our old city, and I rarely hear from old friends there (which is understandable since they have their lives, and so on). I am feeling really isolated, and don't want to be here. I still feel we moved here so that H could be near OW - don't have proof, and not looking for it. The only plus is that D13 has settled in very well. To top it all off, the housing market has boomed in our old city, and that has lost us something like $60,000 which would've been a nice bit of money to go into our retirement one day.

I am annoyed (mostly with myself) because I was so uncertain whether I even wanted back into this M, but was willing to give it a try. My instincts were screaming at me at the time to not leave our old city. But, oh no, I did just the opposite, and not much has worked out here for us. H is bored with his job, the transport he was counting on has gone out of business, the weather has been awful (we thought it would be better), I can't find a job comparable to the one I had, and living closer to OW has certainly not made a dent in my feeling trust for my H.

So! I am not a happy camper today. I have really tried very hard to make it work, and most days I succeed. I still feel, however, that I am the one that has made all the changes whereas H has done very little. At the moment, he is just ignoring me, because he thinks I should just move past it. Which I would, if he would just talk to me, and reassure me.

Agh! I'll get over it, but I think it's time to start planning what I should do about my life. Time to leave the pity party.