Moving On with H

[BeingMe]

Exams are over, thank goodness. I am now waiting the dreaded results. On a positive note, I did get 100% for my 3rd Anatomy assignment which was an essay, so I am quite pleased with myself.

I have been moving along with my life, still working on me, and getting back to the real Debbie, who has been MIA for quite a long time. I miss the person I used to be, someone who was always positive about life, adventurous, laughed a lot because I found the humour in everyday things, was happy and steadfast in my marriage, trusting, did things with my kids, was healthy and fit. I am getting there, but I just have to overcome my fears and trust issues with H which I am still finding to be a challenge. I have, at least, come to the conclusion, that I still cannot control what he does, am not responsible for his happiness, and given myself the bottom line that if I find out that he has betrayed our marriage again, then that will be that. Until then, I try not to worry about it too much. Quite pointless really, and I have so much more things to do and enjoy in my life than to worry about the choices my H makes. My goals at the moment are (I guess its a more simplified set of goals from the ones I used to have, and I am looking forward to the New Year, and hope that it will be better than the last, for me, and everyone on this board):

Become self-sufficient (financially and emotionally)
Plug into my spiritual self again (kinda lost it along the way)
Be there for my kids and H without losing myself
Experience new things, and meet new people
Keep working out, eating healthily, and studying
Live each day without fear, and with excitement - what is the worst that can happen, 'eh?

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!