Moving On with H

[BeingMe]

I know, Phoenix, crazy making is just not good, but sometimes I still go through the tornado of thoughts. I'm okay now, but I didn't need a reminder from that woman. We have managed to solve how neither of us can access H's hotmail account. He changed the password - he put in some random letters, while looking away, then I put some in too, so neither of us know what the password is. Eventually, we hope, it will automatically shut down. This is the only way she could've contacted him, other than having a private investigator do so. Wouldn't put it past her.

In the meantime, he continues to reassure me that he loves me, regards me as his best friend, wants to spend the rest of his life with me (and eternally too), is sorry about what he did and realizes it was all fantasy, and that leaving me would never have worked out. I have to just find a way to trust him again, and regain my respect for him. He still has some things that he did before that bother me, for instance, he will ask me what I want (emotionally, or whatever), and I will tell him, then he does nothing about it. I told him that I just don't want to answer those questions anymore because it gets me nowhere.

We were supposed to go for MC last week, but our D12 didn't turn up from her new school until 4 hours later. She doesn't know our new telephone numbers, or address - just how to walk from school. I was frantic with worry. I was so relieved when H found her walking home from a new friend's house.

We made a new appointment with the MC for this Friday. So, I hope we can work on the issues we have. I asked him to be truthful with the C, and not lie like he did with previous ones. He said he won't. We will see.

Hope everyone else is doing well. I read the posts, but haven't commented very often. Too busy with the new courses I am taking.