Why is it so darn difficult for the WAH to give up the OW even after they say they want to work on the marriage and that they love us. I used to post and have been lurking for some time My situation H 48 I am 47 2 boys 11 and 17 Husband moved out in January 04 after saying he lost the spark. Was having an A with OW who works with him in a very small (5 person) office. Although H moved out he never was out of my life, wanted his cake and eat it too. In June 04 I told H that was it I had enough etc etc. He agreed to move home. All the things that go along with that were there. the ups and downs the mistrust. Finally in January 05 I logged into his work email and discovered the A was still going on. He was literally living two lives. He ended it (at least the PA) but the emotional was still there. Ups and downs continue, mostly ups. Finally in June I heard a voice mail from her to him which sent me into a tailspin. Told H I was out .. He ended it but now still works with her and does what he can I believe to comfort her. She is cleary an emotional basketcase. Well this weekend something different happened. My H's company picnic was Sunday and we were going . MC suggested and told us we had to do it together. H was not looking forward to it but knew we had to do it. OW said she was going, it was her right yada yada ya. Down deep I knew she wouldnt go because she didnt have the guts and is emotionally very week. Sure enough she was a no show. But it sent a statement loud and clear. I think she beleived H wouldnt end up going or would get me to back out. When my H didnt do that it finally told her he was done with her. Well Monday and Tuesday she was and emotionally at the office and my H FINALLY FINALLY told her to get the..... out of his life and move on. He came to my office yesterday morning in tears and very emotional. I have been telling him for months we can do this together and he needs to be honest with me how she is handling it. He has been trying to make her happy and me. Cant have it both ways. there is nothing he can do to make this woman happy short of starting the A up again and I know he hasnt done that. I have been waiting for him to get mad at her and tired of it and I think he is finally there. In the past he has gotten mad at her but only after I have discovered contact was made. this was different , he came to me visibly upset and told me without me asking that he is tired of it all. AMEN. Lets hope he sticks with it. I have to be strong, not question him, not get mad at him (which isnt always easy) and show him I can handle what he tells me. Otherwise he backs off and feels he is getting it from both ends. I have a feeling its not the end though because the OW is desperate and living in a fantasy world and they work so close together. Just cant beleive it that we are over a year back living together and almost two years into this mess and we are still dealing with it.
Sorry to hijack your thread but I am thinking posting here may make me feel better.
