First, I don't put pressure on my bf for sex. I rarely bring it up.
I acknowledged that in my post. That minus what little pressure you put on him for a sexual relationship he is in happy
I want to feel that he desires me. I'm not asking for the sun, the moon, and the stars here. I agree with this also You are not portraying your self as highly demanding within your relationship. Just that you have a need that you would like occassionally filled.
He has NOT responded like some other LD (you included) people on this board and LD spouses of the HD people (as quoted by the HD people who post here), that he'd be just as happy to do without it, he has no interest, etc. He claims he HAS GREAT interest and really really wants us to be having sex regularly. He just makes no move to make it happen. He stays up way later than me every night when I go to bed. He makes no moves to touch me in a sexual way.
No he has not responded in the way that some other LD people of the board or spouses of HD people on the board has. I agree with that also. I though have no great personal interest or drive for sex have sex regularly and quite frequently with my S to fufill his needs that I do not share. Your BF who has a interest in sex does not have sex regularly or frequently with you to fufill your needs you both share. So again you are right in pointing out that his words/actions vs my words/action are different. I will only speak from my situation on what differnces there are in the way we respond.
Regarding feeling special: I don't rely upon my bf for me to feel special. I'm a very special person (and that's not just the 4 talking ) of many accomplishments in my 56 years. I won't bore you with my resume. I feel quite special in most areas of my life.
Actually we were talking about self esteem and how feeling desired relates to ones self esteem. Gonna leave it at that. And I am sure your resume would be in no means boring to me. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying very much the lack of angry outbursts. I am very glad for both you on this. It is I am sure a great relief for you both.
If he doesn't start acting sexual toward me eventually, then I'll have to conclude that his comments about "wanting it too" were just his attempt to say what I wanted to hear. And then I'll have to decide if I'm going to follow through on my plans to leave him or decide if I can tolerate the rest of my life with solitary eroticism only.
I hope for your sake it does not come to this. All and all you sound very satisfied with your relationship. I believe that this goes along with what Mrs Nop just wrote about.
I want the sexual bond with one man, right now I want that man to be my bf. This is pretty simple stuff-- it's a common human phenomenon to value a unique and exclusive sexual bond with someone. Poems and songs attest to this. Even the Song of Solomon in the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) extols the beauty of this special connection. I just want some of that.
I understood this very well from your first post.Again I do not see this as a unreasonable want.
