Quote: However, I really disagreed with this statement of yours: ___________________________________________________________
Why would we want to equate the marital relationship that Chrissy or I might want as "just roommates"? Sex for me is an extension of the relationship. It isn't the leading component. It isn't the defining component. ___________________________________________________________
The part that I struggle with in this description is assuming that HD people do not see sex as an extention of the R. I certainly do. I have been both LD and HD within two different relationships. I was LD because of the lack of respect AND the lack of intimacy in other areas. As the HD spouse I see sex as the natural extension of the intimacy that we share in other areas. Sex alone absolutely doesn't "do it" for me. Sex with H whom I love, respect, share a life and various intimacies with does it for me.
Okay. I can see how that could be disagreement fodder.
But keep in mind the context in which I was responding. Cemar and Lil were forwarding the assertion (as I understood it) that sex was the only thing that made the difference between a spouse and a roommate. It was within that context that I made the above statement.
But, I would hazard the guess that for many folks, sex is a defining component, it is the leading component in their marriage. It is an issue for which some folks will ultimately divorce. That makes it (IMO) a defining component. I am not promoting it as a "sex alone" issue, rather a "sex primarily" issue.
There are some spouses who have a strong need for financial security. Having a spouse that fails to provide, or who squanders that provision can and does result in divorce. For that spouse, finances are a defining component.
