As for my saying that you can't imagine starving... I think you misunderstood me:
No I do not feel that I misunderstood you. As I stated earlier just because we starve for different things does not mean we do not share the same feeling of hunger. We just crave different types of food.
I'm NOT saying you should be satisfied. Did you hear that? No I said since I have the food you crave I should be satisfied you did not say it. It was me conceeding to what you are saying instead of running in circles.
The sitch you describe is not a healthy, nuturing, growth-supporting sitch. Though true what you say, The sitch I describe is not all reality either. It is my perception of my H and how his show of sexual desire make me feel. Every HD here has a chance that there spouse feels these exact same feelings from the pressure they feel they are under from there spouses sexual desire. I percieve my H as the ever ready bunny I portray him as such since sex is such a focal point in our relationship but in reality if he walked around with the perpetual hard on I feel he does he would have died of lack of blood flow by now. But because of the constent fights about sex and control of a relationship and flow of its destination created by the issue of sex it distorts both HD and LD to the reality of the situation. I am not alone in that. But I do recognize it since coming to this board. Lil sometimes I am just trying to give a different view a LD view if it must be labeled But you see everytime a HD says how there spouse makes them feel undersired or unloved and unfufilled because of there lack of interest of sex and a LD person trys to point out how there spouse makes them fill undersired or unloved or unfufilled by the constent efforts to have sex it is not excepted well by some of the HD people here. Example You say knowing your BF showing sexual desire would make you feel special and may increase your self esteem. I say my H showing sexual desire does not make me feel special and does nothing for my self esteem. The difference here I though maybe do not understand why you would base your self esteem on another I except and understand that you do without question. You on the other hand doubt and question what I say. Why? would it be because it is not what you think.
You say you have no respect for your H. In that case, were he to stop desiring you, it might very well have no effect at all on you.
Yes I did say I have no respect for my H but in regaurds to how I know that lack of sexual desire on his part would not hurt my self esteem. I also state if my H no longer showed sexual desire I feel it would have a possible good effect on my marriage a chance to focus on other aspects of the relationship that are not as important to him but quite important to me.
Okay enough of that.
Now I have a question for you.
Lil Why do you assume that you are not delivering what your boyfriend needs? Why do you assume that you are hurting him or letting him down? You state yourself minus the sexual issues you are pretty satisfied with your relationship. Why can it not be as simple as he has no sexual issues because he has no large need for sex so he is completely satisfied within your relationship? That does not make either of you wrong or in default it just makes you different. My H is totally satisfied within our relationship sexual issues aside just as you said you are. And like GEL said with her H his satisfaction gives him no motivation to make changes. Maybe this is where your BF is. That minus what little pressure you put on him for a sexual relationship he is in happy camper land within your relationship. He is content with what he has as it is. No crime in that heck that is what most of us strive for. Unfortuntely what he is content with is not enough for you to be content with. There is no fault in that in your part you are not doing anything wrong matter of fact seems you are meeting all of his needs. You just seem to have some he does not share. Again that is what makes us different. But yours does need to be meet also so finding a way to make him understand that while you would love to pitch a tent beside him in happy camper land you seem to be lacking the stakes to anchor it down to keep it from blowing away and he will need to lend you a few of his.
