I appreciate the y'all's (yes that IS a real word ) comments, now that Mrs NOP and I are sitting on stools in the corner with wet towels over our faces. I agree that this has been an extremely enlightening and helpful exchange.

GEL wrote
Quote:

much of what Mr.Gel and I are dealing with is his past, it's conditioning, it's a lack of confidence sexually on his part, and it's a lack of trust on his part. When I say a lack of trust, I don't mean he doesn't trust ME per-say...I mean he doesn't trust that if he suddenly begins to fulfill my needs that there's not a moving scale on those needs.

This "moving target" thing echoes what some of the HD men on this board have quoted their Ws as saying. But the result of these Ws trying to hit the moving target is (as their Hs have described it) that "he will never be satisfied," which is a slightly different twist on your prediction of your Hs reluctance to take a shot at the moving target, namely, that you will leave the game once he cocks <ahem> and aims his weapon (as it were ).

Just an observation-- you know me, always looking for patterns.