Ms. Hdog's list of wants (remember, we had to both do this for the counselor) had items like "stay within budget" "give me my space" "don't make sexual demands of me" "continue on a spiritual journey with me". In our last meeting, she admitted that I was basically fulfilling all of her requests.
Is she happy? As happy as she can be, probably. The deal is, it just doesn't matter. She will continue to use excuses to get out of sex: too stressed, too hot, too tired.
There is no secret code. There is no magical cure. There is nothing but the crushing reality that this is the way things will be.
Somewhat pessimistic view, but a lot closer to reality than any other view I've had.
