Jen, thanks for your comments. You completely supported my point, and you'll never know how much I appreciate that. You wrote
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They aren't sexually involved anymore (on any level, again, I happen to know...) but they have that 'look' that speaks volumes! I've spoken to them both on different occasions, and they both have that twinkle in their eye that indicates they are 'into' each other, and both report feeling very loved and special. I also happen to know they had a great sex life, and must miss it terribly at times, but people certainly can see they are more than roommates!

YES! That LOOK is exactly what I am talking about. I want to see the look in my bf's eye. The fact that this couple no longer has explicit physical sexual contact but STILL has the twinkle in the eye, is EXACTLY what I am getting at. There are sexual vibes between them. YES! That is the point. They are not just roommates. They are sexual beings who have sexual feelings for each other. It is not JUST about sexual physical contact, it is about how they see each other as sexual beings.

Jen also wrote
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Being the LD spouse, if my dh stopped acting sexual towards me in every way, I think I'd feel like there was someone else in the picture, or that something was wrong in another way. I'd soon be upset, but probably not overly 'horney'... perhaps feel unattractive?

This is exactly what I was getting at, and a million zillion thanks for understanding what I was getting at.

Chrissy, you said earlier that your self esteem derives in no way from your H's sexual desire for you. But you have an H who pursues you for sex a lot, so how do you know your self esteem is in no way connected to that? You say that if he stopped pursuing you sexually it would not harm your self esteem at all... but I question that. I think you might very well have the reaction that Jen is describing. Same with you, Mrs. NOP. You two are in a grocery store full of food, you are satiated, even stuffed, and you cannot imagine what it is to starve... to long to look at your partner and hope so badly see that twinkle in his eye, whether or not he reaches for you physically.

It's easy to say sex doesn't matter when you're having it every day/twice a week.