I think you may be missing the point that - you are hearing of the quality of the relationship based on one spouse's view.
Everytime I have read from *both* spouses, the picture of that relationship changes.
Everytime I hear more details about a relationship, I can see how there are some real issues going on. It's usually pretty easy to see other's, it's our own that get a little difficult to decipher at times.
I would hazard a guess that the spouses who aren't posting here have issues with the spouse that is posting. It is possible that the posting spouse doesn't know the issues, doesn't recognize the issues, hasn't been told the issues, couldn't hear it when they were told.
Or all of the above. Or more.
Is that because folks here want to deceive? Absolutely not. The fact that we are having issues is indicative of our difficulty in communicating about ourself and our difficulty in reading our spouse.
I used my example as an extreme. Add back one thing at a time and at what point would you find the relationship viable? At some point, the sex alone is not enough for your relationship FOR YOU. You have other desires and needs that must be met - by your boyfriend.
Sex does it for you. But because it is of such importance to you, it's as if you can't conceive that *other* people have criteria other than sex that leaves them feeling loved and special.
Why would we want to equate the marital relationship that Chrissy or I might want as "just roommates"? Sex for me is an extension of the relationship. It isn't the leading component. It isn't the defining component.
As an aspect of the relationship, when the relationship suffers the sexual interaction is going to suffer. That's reversed for many of you, if the sexual relationship suffers, then the relationship suffers.
