Quote: I find that it is a "love language" that doesn't speak to me as deeply as it does others.
I believe this is the crux of the matter-- the essential difference between the way LDs and HDs look at sex.
You also wrote
Quote: Let's turn that the other way. What if your boyfriend seldom spent time with you. What if there was no garden work, no choir, no trips, no weekend visits, no church, no dinners, little or no interaction on a daily basis. What if he just showed up at 9pm each night, wanted sex and then left?
No question about it-- I would cease to feel special or loved if ALL he wanted was sex. That is not a problem in this R, nor in many of the Rs on this board. Many, if not most, of the people posting here say everything else is good-- activities, values, fun together-- but that for the HDs, when sex, or a feeling of sexual connection, whether or not it is acted upon, is missing, something VERY IMPORTANT is missing.
Maybe I can put it this way: shared activities, etc. is a necessary but not sufficient condition for me to be satisfied, AND sex* is a necessary, but not sufficient condition for me to be satisfied. Both are necessary.
______________ * By "sex" I mean more than "doing it"-- I mean a feeling of being sexually connected, feeling desire, and feeling desired.
