Chrissy, I'm honored to be on a level with them. I'm pleased that he cares for me as much or nearly as much as his mom and daughters. That's not the issue. It's truly not a contest to see who he loves more.
The issue is that I want to be "special" in that he desires me sexually. That is a way in which I want his affection/love/caring for me to be different from the feelings he has for them, kwim?
Do you really not see that his desiring me sexually-- and acting on that desire-- would set me apart from all the women in his life and that that would be meaningful to me?
Or do you find your H's sexual desire for you meaningless? If he STOPPED acting sexual toward you, wouldn't you wonder if he still loved you in a special way?
I would really like to hear from an LD person on this question: when you have a spouse who has a steady and reliable desire for you, can you imagine how it might affect you if they just stopped acting sexual toward you-- for years? It's easy to say sexual vibes between the H and W aren't the core of the marriage or all that important when you're at a feast. You can focus on other things, and even be a bit annoyed that they "want" you all the time. When that "want" disappears over a long period of time, can you imagine what that might do to your feelings about the marriage, about your spouse's feelings for you, and about yourself?
