Have you by any chance looked into my previous posts? Maybe I have forgotten what I have and have not posted here. It has bee some time.
Your posts have given me as much on my sitch as almost anyone else. I thank you again.
I do know H's LL. The two he needs the most are PT and WOA. I do fairly well on the WOA, as he is a great cook, and does most of the ccoking. However, he tends to beg for compliments before I have a chance to praise him for his accomplishments in other areas. As for PT, it IS the sexual part that he is most interested in.
I will give an example of our interactions: Last night, he made spaghetti for dinner. His is the absolute best I've ever had. For the first time I can remember, he asked nicely for help, because he hadn't planned right, and dind't have time to get bread ready. Usually, he bellows when he needs help, and then nobody can do anything to suit him. I said I would be out in a minute. I took care of the bread, and then poured wine for both of us. He mentioned not having cut the peppers for the salad because there were some in the sauce. If I wanted, he would cut some. I gave him a big, toothy grin- we can never have too many peppers, as far as I'm concerned. I gave two good compliments on the meal, as well as taking seconds, which could be considered a third compliment.
Then, after dinner, I cleared and rinsed. I am not prone to doing this, because H often gets in a huff because others don't rinse right, load the dishwasher right, or put things away right. Then, after we were done (he put away leftovers), I gave him some real smooches. He asked if dinner was "that good".
Then, he and D20 went to the pharmacy and the store. He brought me home a favorite dessert. I thanked and kissed him, and gave more big smiles.
I headed for bed, and we kissed goodnight. Then, he headed to the computer or his "office".
If you have read my previous posts, you already know he had an EA about 2 years ago. He continues to use her name as his screen saver on his work computer. He also has her work website, which he looks at almost daily to see her picture. To me, this is highly disrespectful. I am not prone to sharing my H.
Believe me, I have told him at various times and in various ways that the groping is inappropriate. At least one of the kids has said things to that effect, also.
I have given him the gift of personal hygeine products many times over. Although he had two bottles of his favorite (and mine for him) body wash, he bought another last week. I did not say anything at the store. He is nearly bald, and wears a full beard an mustache. He colors the beard and mustache, and it looks very unnatural to me. I offer to cut his hair, which I have always done, every time it starts looking a bit shaggy. (By the way, I really don't like giving haircuts) WE sometimes don't get around to the trim for two weeks after I first mention it. He often looks uncared for. I couldn't, for the life of me, pick out a razor that suits him. He only shaves about once a week, maybe less. He has the aftershave, cologne, etc. It sits in the closet in the original packaging- has sat there since Xmas 2003, if I am not mistaken.
As for the naughty gifts, I've also tried taht. We have several scented oils that have sat since before the millineum. WE also have toys that aren't used.
My problem with trying something different, is that I have tried many things, and none work more than a few times. I have completely run out of ideas. In case you haven't figured it, we have been married nearly 34 years. Life omves on...
Lately, my different has been to give space. He doesn't seem to notice, because when I didn't give it he took it anyway.
The thing I want most is to have talks about our sitch. Then, maybe we could work things out a bit, and it wouldn't end up tense so often.
