Thank you for posting in response to my questions. I see where it might have been quite gut-wrenching for you to go to this place and describe it.
Thank you also for your answers responding to my LL questions. I AM gaining insight into how people relate/react to the 5LL questionnaire as well as how it applies to their everyday lives.
I'd like to offer you a few of my thoughts about your sitch from the limited ideas you have shared with me/us. First, let me say that I am not the sage or wise owl that some others here are, including Mrs NOP, GEL, OG_Lou, Honeypot, Lilieperl, ZB, and Hairdog. So don't put too much credence into what I post, but please give it a quick listen...
Since you and your H have done the 5LL questionnaire twice now, you do know what his LLs are, right? Do you try to speak to him in his LLs? You continue to live under the same roof with this man for all the right reasons, so you should speak his LL.
When you do get his attention via LL or whatever, you need to set up some boundaries by telling him that you do definitely NOT appreciate him groping you in front of your kids (and their families, if that is also true). Furthermore, you do not want that behavior in public even if no one that you know is around.
I know that you said that you are not really into PT anymore. Is it for the lack of respect he shows you by not bathing often enough? Here’s an idea…
You mentioned that your H is into gift giving to the extreme that you sense that he is trying to buy you and your affection? If this is so, is he also very tuned into receiving gifts? If so, I am envisioning a gift package that you need to give him to improve his personal hygiene. You be the one to ultimately decide what goes into his gift pack but some suggestions on my part would be, a razor and spare blades, scented soap (with a manly name and packaging), shampoo, after shave or cologne, deodorant (that goes with the scented soap and aftershave). Now for the hook, also add something naughty but nice, such as scented massage oil, a romantic CD, a spicy picture of you. The ultimate could be a coupon that you create to give him his favorite flavor of nookie. The whole plan here is to connect his personal hygiene habits in a positive way with his desire to ML.
If you go along with his PT advances anyway, wouldn’t this help make it better for you as well as help him understand your feelings about personal hygiene, without puting him down?
Just some ideas for you to consider Genie. Another idea that has been bounced around recently on the BB that seems to make a lot of sense….One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting the outcome to be different.
If you’re not getting anywhere with your sitch, try something different.
Thanks again for posting and sharing with all of us on the SSM BB,
