Quote: All I can get out of this experience is that I need to speak to her in all 5LL. I am willing to do this but for example, I don't know what quality time would be to her, except maybe being there to help her with anything that is on her agenda, like redecorating our bedroom. Yet to me, quality time would be discussing our R in a relaxed, non-threatening way. Also in another thread I mentioned, regarding gift giving, part of perfection would be knowing what gifts I should buy her for her birthday, anniversary, and Christmas. She wants me to figure it out.
I understand giving out WOA, AOS, and PT, and I'm doing OK with those.
Anyone willing to jump in here and lend me a hand?
Maybe she's just one of those people that strike a strong balance. I know on some of the personality tests, especially the more generic ones, a person can fall right in the middle and be difficult to peg.
Do you have no idea what would be quality time for her? Does she ever ask you to do something with her that you have had no interest in and therefore didn't go/do? Does she want you to hang around in the kitchen and the two of you cleanup together?
If you've had relationship talks in the past and didn't get the impression that this is something she really enjoyed, then I would think it safe to say that she doesn't consider relationship talk as quality time.
I know for me, one aspect of quality time was for the two of us to be out in public together, whether it was at a movie, a park, a party/dinner or whatever. There was something oddly bonding to me for us to publically be a "couple" out in the great wide world. For NOP, quality time was having me nearby when he was *doing* something. You can see where there would be some discrepancies between those two.
He could have offered me all of the quality time in the world via his preferred method listed above, and I would have not have my desire for quality time met. No brownie points and little relational bonding.
So, no idea at all at what she considers quality time?
