WB, I think your letter is emotive and beautiful. I would think that sending it would be a good thing. However, I would also be prepared for the worst. If H is confused, who knows what is going on in his brain and how he will react. I say this from experience as early on in the piece I sent my H a letter, carefully vetted that he took totally the wrong way. Even though there was nothing negative in it.
I know that you are further down the journey and your situation is different, but felt it should be mentioned so that you are prepared. I guess this is a case of " expect the worst ~ hope for the best".
I guess there comes a point in this journey that we really think "enough is enough" and if you are at that point (crossroads really) then you really need to know. In your case, it has real implications for you and your family.
The content of the letter though is full of love and caring and respect and personally I cannot fault it.
Good luck with your decision. I know you have the strength to do what's right for you. Mind you my stars say with the eminent eclipse, now is the time to make wishes, especially on the r front. Here's the link if you are interested Yasmin Boland's stars Good luck
H popped in this morning because the building inspector was there to finalise the building reports on the house prior to exchanging contracts. We had a nice chat - he proudly showed me his new car. Normal, upbeat interaction that we've been sharing for months now.
So I got to work and sent the e-mail. I thought about just saying it to him this morning, but I figured I'd had a long time to think about it and he should have the option to have a chance to think about a response to me as well. E-mail provides that opportunity.
I feel good. I'm going to be OK with whatever he responds, because with or without him my future is bright - and with or without him I do feel as though I'm ready to embark on the next part of my journey.
Although, if no-one minds, if he comes back to me with a big "No way - we're through" I wouldn't mind hanging around here a little longer. I like it here. It's nice and one day I might get into one of BigAl's dialouges .... see, there is always hope!!!
I'll be sure and let you know what happens ...
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
WB~ I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. And boy is that making typing difficult.
Although, if no-one minds, if he comes back to me with a big "No way - we're through" I wouldn't mind hanging around here a little longer. I like it here.
Hang around here regardless! I hope that very soon you'll be teaching us all how to rebuild a smoking hot marriage!
I don't normally post in this forum. But I have been reading your post for a while and wanted to say.
I wish you all the best outcome of your email and sitch.
As to your hanging around here. Why would you not. Dbing is about personal growth as well as resolution to our marital problems. It is about learning new ways to handle our sitch. And this BB is about having a support system in times of need and growth.
And you are correct you have a bright future in store for you. No matter what path you find yourself walking on in the journey.
Well - it's been 12 hours and not a word. Very unusual - normally he would return an e-mail or a phone call very promptly. Either he was out of town today (although I don't think so because I saw him this morning and he didn't mention going out of town), or he read it and wants to tell me that he's totally over me and I'm a loser - but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, or he read it and he doesn't know how to respond because he agrees with me that he isn't totally sure that this is over, but he's got the complication of op.
How's this for cool ... today I found a 4 leaf clover. I always look for them, but I've never found one - and today I did. I am stoked.
It symbolises for me that whatever happens with H, it will be lucky. Maybe I'll be like NYS and lose this marriage only to find my soul mate in the future, maybe my personal legend is waiting around the corner and it's something that I have to do alone ... there are so many reasons why maybe my marriage may not be meant to be ... but there is also the possibility that maybe it might work ... oh, goodness, it's too much to hope for.
Ok, OK, back up. Zero expectations.
Thank you all for your support. It's a tough time, but made tolerable with your support and encouragement. Cheers, Virginia (formally known as Walkingback)
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Virginia, just wanted to know I am thinking of you at this time. Have you heard anything from H? Your 4 leaf clover definately is a sign of your new lucky life! Stay positive.
Not a word. It's very strange. Although he's never been very good at confronting issues or answering the hard questions. I'd say he'd be pretty surprised to have received the e-mail and he probably doesn't know what to say. I've been patient this long - I can hold on a while longer.
Cheers, V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Wow - you really are displaying patience. I was thinking about you at work today and thought "I guess I'll hear what happened when I get home." Even *I'm* getting impatient and you're like Job!
