Thanks guys. I've been thinking that I'd like to write a note to my husband along the lines of ...

H, It seems like we've been in a twilight zone this past year. Before we finalise our separation I need to ask you if this is what you really want? I feel that despite us being separated this year there is so much between us unsaid.

On 21 November this year we will be eligible to to apply for a "no fault" divorce, but I'd be lying if I said that's what I want.

I'd like to reconcile with you because you are my soul mate and my love. I'd like to be a team in managing the situation with (the refugees), enjoy Joanna's coming baby girl, experience the boys grow up - maybe get married and have their own families.

I'm going to be OK if that doesn't happen. I know that I'm fine and my future is bright and truth be told I'm looking forward to a new beginning, one where I put the pain of this past year behind me - but I can't get away from the idea that it is possible for us to make that new beginning together. Regardless, I'd like to be sure that I've left no stone unturned in making sure ending our marriage is what we really both want.

I'm sorry for leaving you without trying to figure this stuff out. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you. Given a chance I promise I would never hurt you like this again.

I guess, before we start splitting up all our assets I'd just like to make sure this is what you really want - because I'm certainly not sure it's what I want.

All my love - Ginny

Grateful views, howls of "don't do it", editing or editorial tips (especially point out any really bad DBing stuff I've let slip in).

Thanks

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.