Thanks for checking in on me. I knew I was sick, but I didn't know how sick. Turns out I have pneumonia - a delightful lung infection. I can't do much but sleep and drink flat lemonade. I've been staying at my mums for a couple of nights - she's looking after me well. I haven't heard from H at all.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Dragged myself from my death bed yesterday afternoon to attend a meeting with H, refugee mother, her torture and trauma counsellor and a translator.
The meeting was fine and I was able to throw in a couple of things that I think made H really look at me as though there were changes in me. Like when RM was saying she wanted to move to Perth because she wasn't happy in Canberra, I said "RM - happiness isn't external to you. Happiness is in your heart. All the things that make you unhappy will still be with you, you'll just be in another city." H looked at me, mildly amused (he's been saying the same thing to me for years)
Then she was saying she was over RFD16. She said "I've had enough. There is no respect. I can not love her anymore." and I retored "Love is a choice. You are the boss of who you love - her behaviour can't make you love her or not - you chose that."
She didn't get it, but I think H did.
I've got a friend here from Melbourne for the weekend and I'm in no shape to entertain her on the town, so H is taking her out tonight - possibly with op. That will be interesting.
In some ways I feel like we've grown further apart over the past couple of weeks with my strict adherence to the last resort. It's kind of like when I left - we both just gave up - the whole thing had died and neither of us had the energy to pick up the pieces.
My Dr said he thinks the seriousness of my illness is symptomatic of my body collapsing after a particularly stressful period that it just can't cope with anymore. Unfortunately it's not like I can just stop it and get off. Can I?
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Quote: Unfortunately it's not like I can just stop it and get off. Can I?
“Can” you get off? Yes you can. May you get off? No, you may not. How would the rest of us make it on this ride without you?
Look, you are making serious headway here as is evident by your post. You are DBing perfectly, i.e. showing H your changes that by your own account he is noticing but you are doing it in a way where you are not shoving them in his face.
From what I remember about your sitch, the Ow is somewhat of a basket case, right? You are making yourself out to be, (and no doubt you truly are) steady and attractive. In other words, NOT a basket case. Does your H want a basket case or someone who is steady?
Hang in there WB. I truly think you are doing well. Be patient as long as you can and remember, “You may just want to be nearby when the A ends.”
WB, great work at the meeting. I am sure that all these things you are saying, H is taking in at some level anyway. I agree with your Dr, this illness is probably your body's way of saying "slow down". Are you taking care of yourself? (or just everyone else). You do seem to have a lot on your plate.
Maybe not get off the ride, but just take it easy for a while. From what I understand, the times when nothing seems to be happening are often the times before a big unexpected change in thought/attitude, so hang in there.
Quote: From what I understand, the times when nothing seems to be happening are often the times before a big unexpected change in thought/attitude,
Really? I haven't heard or read that, but I guess it makes sense. Stuff always seems to happen when you least expect it hey?
Not much to report from this neck of the woods. Only saw H briefly at the weekend. He called me on Saturday morning, but didn't leave a message - so I didn't call him back - YEY ME!!
He popped in to move some stuff out of the back shed on Sunday and we chatted briefly - light, friendly, cheery - then he was off ...
I'm back at work today which is great, I was getting bored stupid locked up at home.
I wonder what this week will bring?
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Today is/would have been my 8th wedding anniversary.
My H just called to check if I'd be home at 5.30pm tonight so I can let the Pest Inspector into the house. He needs to do a Pest Certificate so we can finalise the contracts on the sale of the house.
I said I would be home. Neither of us mentioned the anniversary.
Why do I feel like crying?
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
You feel like crying because it is completely natural. So go ahead and do so. This year it is just another date on the calendar, WB, maybe next year it will mean so much more. Keep your head up!
