As usual you are right on the ball. I can bring the house up. I'll do it early next week. Particularly now that there is discussion about RFD16 living with me - I'll need some certainty.
Stepdaughters information is interesting. On one hand all the kids are victims of divorce, so they are pretty guarded in what they say - they've been through it with their own parents and there is a code that they have always stuck to about speaking about their other parent - so she's subtle, but she does let some things slip.
For example she said the other day that H and OP don't seem to be a couple - she said they are more like friends. They don't really interact with each other lovingly - they don't hold hands or tease each other - they just sort of go places together. She said they don't have the easy banter that couples normally have. In response to a question she asked me the other day I replied - "You know SD, if H is happy, I'm happy, that's always been the way with us." - she just looked away and shook her head sadly - like letting me know that she's not convinced that H is happy.
But none of that changes the fact that he choses to live with op, and be with op.
Now, B for boyfriend. I have said all that too him but he choses not to get it. Last weekend he and I were having coffee and he asked me about my wedding. I told him we were married in a park by a marriage celebrant. He said "Oh, that's great, the Catholic Church won't recongnise that as a marriage, so you are still free to marry in the Church - after you're divorced we could take the sacrament of Marriage."
I just looked at him and said "B - we've talked about this - I'm not even over my husband yet - I love spending time with you and you are great company, but we are friends and there is no way I'm considering us getting married." He just shook it off, took my hand, kissed it and told me he knows I'm going through a tough time but he can ride it out. I upped the tempo of the convo and told him that if he continues to refuse to get it I'm going to have to stop hanging out with him entirely so he backed down and said he understood - and asked me if I wanted to go to Mass with him on Sunday (things are pretty hot and steamy!!!).
Perhaps I need a B with less pure motives ...
Yeah - I'll have another chat to him tonight, but if it continues like this I am going to have to stop seeing him, because, well just because.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
