Wife Walking Back?

[Walking]

Thanks WW2, your right, it is hard for me to hear – but important that I hear it and understand it. I know that it’s going to take a long time for my husband to trust me again … if he ever does. I understand about his new relationship too. I know it’s not perfect, but it would certainly be easier than the last 6 – 12 months of our marriage was.

Journalling

Yesterday was a good DB day. H called early to remind me that he was bringing a couple to see the house. Step sons and I did a quick tidy up (with brother-in-law, who leaves today, hovering helplessly) and H arrived early. He went out to fiddle with the pool pump while I finished shining the kitchen. I decided to leave him to it and took my book out to the other side of the house to sit in the morning sun.

He came and found me and we talked. For the first time since I left we talked to each other about nothing and everything. We talked about our friends, his work, the boys. We laughed and chatted. I had a glimpse of the way we used to be, of the man and woman we were before this all got so out of hand. It was wonderful. It wasn’t long and it wasn’t deep it was very very nice.

We went back inside and the boys came to talk to their dad, and all of a sudden there was the 4 of us talking to each other and laughing and I was reminded of Anna’s post of an evening spent with her H and children and the love that is created and handed around in a room full of people who are connected in a family. I know that H felt it too – he’s not made of stone – and it was good.

I am so grateful for the skills I’ve learned here, because if it weren’t for these skills that brief period of time yesterday would never have happened. I would have completely buggered it. It would have started last week when I was ordered to have my brother-in-law stay with us. I would have ranted and raved that he should stay with one of his sisters or his mother and there would have been ill-feeling, then I would have freaked out when H said he had buyers for the house and I would have cried and carried on that I didn’t want the marriage to end and I didn’t want to sell the house and H would have flown in and flown out yesterday – the drama would have been unbearable.

I know now that if I keep using these skills, regardless of what happens H and I (and the boys) are going to be OK. There isn’t going to be animosity and there isn’t going to be drama. We might even be friends again.

We showed the couple through the house, together, H hung around for a little while after they left and he kissed me as he left. All in all, a very good experience.