My brother-in-law arrived yesterday with his daughter and is now safely ensconsed at our family house. It's awkward, but OK.
Yesterday afternoon H called a couple of times, I missed the first call, but he called me back an hour later to tell me he thinks he's found a buyer for our house. Well, my stomach dropped but I was a sound DBer and just said "that's great news". He went on to say that the fellow who wants to buy it has to convince his wife because they currently live on the other side of town in the suburbs and our house is in the city and she might not want to move ... but anyway ...
The more I agreed with him how good it was that he'd found a buyer the more he found excuses as to why it wasn't a good thing ... classic DB psychology
The whole house thing is a double edged sword. The house is a money pit. It's too big for us and I've wanted to sell it for ages - since before I moved out - but he kept saying, no it's a great investment, it's convenient, blah blah blah. He's right about all those things, but it's also huge and impossible to maintain. I'd prefer to live in a smaller house that we could manage. So, while I was gutted that selling the house would take us one step further apart, a little bit of me was kind of pleased that we might be able to get rid of the bl@@dy crumbling down palace.
My husband brought his brother and neice in last night and everything was OK. I'd been at yoga and was on my way to bed when they arrived. I stopped and chatted with them all for a little while and then went upstairs. It was all happy, chatty - I think H had partaken of a few glasses of wine.
I was reading (low brow chic lit about a women whose husband left her for an OP on the day she gave birth to her first child - I don't know why I do it to myself) and H came into my bedroom to ask where there were more blankets for my niece. I told him and then he launched into a story about being at a professional function last week with a boy that I've been dating (v. v. casually - it's just nice to have someone to go to the movies and dinner with). H said that the boy, we'll call him B (for boy because he's 29 and much more of a boy than a man)apparently told some of the people at the function that I was his girlfriend and we spend all our time together and stuff. I just said I found it difficult to believe that B would say those things, because it's not true - we are dating occassionally, but we are not an item. H said "well I just thought I should let you know what he's saying about you..."
Then ... H asked, for the first time since I asked to get back together and he said we couldn't because he was seeing someone else ... the old sad line, filled with meaning and regret ... "How are you? How are you really?"
And you know what - I said "I am fine, I am really fine." and I meant it. I surprised myself that I really meant it.
He leaned in to me and ruffled my hair before we both looked at each other meaningfully and he left our bedroom.
I heard him downstairs for an hour or so before he left and I presume went home to his partner.
So there we have it. Three steps forward, two steps back.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
