My sister-in-law called last night to tell me that her brother (and Hs brother) is in Australia for a couple of weeks and is coming to Canberra on Thursday and H mentioned that he could stay at my house. Now I kind of knew about this because H mentioned it last week, but I didn't know it was this week and I didn't know it was a fait accompli.

My husband's family have been a big contributor to the problems that we've had. He has 4 sisters who all live in this city, a mother who is manic and this brother who usually lives in the UK. His father died mid last year and none of them have really recovered from that, but they were all pretty scary before then anyway (deceased father was the only sane thing holding them together). There is a lot of jealousy and pettiness that I could never understand, but nevertheless wore me down.

I guess what got me about the phone call last night was that it reminded me of how it's always about them and it's always offered up like I have no choice. They are coming and I will put them up. Like she could have at least asked me if I minded???

The flip side is that my step sons are very excited their uncle is coming and very pleased that he's staying with us. He has been really good to them when they've travelled in Europe and they are close.

Nevertheless, I'm going to take a deep breath and use this visit as a great opportunity to DB. I'm going to welcome brother in law with open arms, be happy, confident, at peace. H will no doubt spend time at the house while his brother is here and that will give me a chance to fill the house with great smells and happy feelings.=

Germaine Greer would string me up. What am I doing?

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.