Quote:

Can you give us more detail about what you thought was wrong in your M? Growing apart is very vauge.



That's what my husband said. OK. This is hard, but I'll give it a shot.

We both have reasonably hectic jobs. I travel quite a bit with my job and my husband works quite long hours. We both also like to work half a day at the weekend to get organised for the week. It hadn't always been like that. When we were first together we worked hard all week, but we dedicated all weekend to each other. I was thinking the other day one of the symptoms was airports ... When I worked away he always took me to the airport and picked me up. In the last couple of years or so I'd fallen in to just getting taxis so as not to put him out - or rather because I was often so busy/disorganised that I wouldn't know what flight I was even on until I dug out the briefing my staff had put together half an hour before the flight and it was easier to just deal with it rather than make a call to tell him what time I needed to be there or be picked up.

As our careers got busier the last thing we wanted to do at night was to talk about them. By the time I got home at 6 or 7 and he got in at 7.30 or 8pm we were buggered. I'd have a couple of glasses of wine making dinner, he would have had a couple of beers with colleagues on the way home, we'd eat, watch telly, go to bed (usually separately).

He likes to play golf and go fishing, I used to enjoy doing that with him, but I stopped. I chose instead to work in the garden or at work.

We cohabited and we got on fine - but we hadn't been 'sharing' our life. We drifted along in paralle lives. Even to the point that when we were really busy and had family obligations I'd go to my family stuff and he'd go to his - we weren't even doing that together.

He thought everything was fine. He was playing golf, fishing, hanging out with his friends, sleeping companionably next to his wife every night. When we did spend time together it was nice, friendly - but there was no passion. I wanted passion. But I ran out of puff and made in hindsight the very odd decision that I'd be better off ending this passionless existance and seeing if I could find it elsewhere. I didn't realise how much easier it would have been just to do my part to reignite it with my husband.

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.