Thank you lbhofwaw for your kind words and support. I have read DR and 5 Love Languages - I'll read His Needs/Her Needs as soon as I can get my hands on it. That's a very good point about giving OW power that I can better use myself!!

I'm GAL this weekend and going on a 'girls trip away'. 9 women, a cottage in the highlands, games, great food and wine. I'm kind of looking forward to it. One of the difficulties I have is that my girlfriends just don't get the fact that I would even consider reconciling. They are meaner about H and OW than I have ever been. I think they also think I should be well and truely over it by now and moving on without ever looking back. I don't really talk to them about it, but a full weekend of girly introspection is sure to bring up the topic. I guess I'll just keep my own counsel.

Goals? Good point - I need to work on some.

Yesterday we were talking about a friend of ours who recently left his wife, but who is considering reconciling with her. I asked if anyone knew what the wife thought about that? H said he didn't ask our friend - but she probably didn't want him (sounding glum). I said she probably did. It was weird, but there did seem to be some double meaning in the conversation for both of us - but I know, I know - don't assume, don't assume.

Also - H said his brother is coming out from the UK at the end of this month for a couple of weeks and would probably need somewhere to stay - would i mind if he stayed at our house. I just immediately agreed, as is my habit, but now I'm wondering if I'm being a doormat? I mean his family are all in this city, sure, I/we have the biggest house, but I live in it, not my husband. The rest of his family have been less than supportive througout this ordeal - and yet he's suggesting his brother stay with me. It's weird.

The psychology of all of this sometimes gets so confusing.



V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.