Wife Walking Back?

[Walking]

I left my husband in November 04. I am the quintessential Walkaway Wife ...

In hindsight I had been depressed for at least a year and let everything get on top of my to the extent that I thought the only thing that would make me happy would be to live alone ... not have any responsibilities, have my own space, live in freedom.

I'm 35 and have lived with my husband and his 2 sons (both in their 20s now) for 10 years. We have been married 8 years next month.

To cut a long story short, I left home, moved in with my sister and her husband for a little while, house-sat for friends and after about 2 months felt that I had it out of my system - but by then my husband had started a new relationship with a woman who has been a friend of the family for years and basically I was too late.

To be fair - H told me that he just 'couldn't' be alone. He said he needed to be in a relationship and that regardless that I was the one he loved, I left him and he had to move on.

As painful as that was - especially the realisation that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life - I decided that I would do my best to prove to him that I loved him and would be open to reconciliation down the track. I was fortunate to stumble on 'solutions based' liturature early on and later this sight which has helped me signficantly and I think I'm in a much better place now than I would have been had I not used DBish techniques basically from February/March 2005.

In the interim I've dated a couple of men/boys, I've moved back into the family home and H has moved in with his new partner. My stepsons live in the family home with me.

Neither H nor I have made any move to separate assets and both our pays are still deposited into a joint bank account. Just today we went to the accountant together to do this year's taxes and neither of us mentioned to the accountant that we were separated. We occassionally speak about selling the house, but never seem to get further than talking about it.

Today H mentioned that we'd have to get the boys to clean their rooms if we put the house on the market and I said - "Mmm, might just be easier to get back together" and he just said "Yes".

You see the thing is that I'm following the DB rules (with a couple of unfortunate, although notable exceptions) but it's taking such a long time. He has never said a nice thing to me about his new partner. He says things like "it's boring living with her" but nothing not-nice either - so I have no idea how compatible their relationship is (although I do know her and before all this happened I used to refer to her as 'possibly-the-most-boring-woman-on-earth' or 'the personality').

He never misses an opportunity to spend time with me, although he rarely seeks me out unless it's something to do with finances/the house/the kids/etc. Last week he had been at the house and when he left he gave me an intimate kiss which was beautiful - but he still left and went home to his partner?

I'm so bl@@dy confused and so, so sad (although I admit it is getting easier by the month). Patience, patience, patience, I know, but how much? I just want to wade in and demand we put an end to this silliness and he just come home - but I know there is a huge chance that will backfire. Goodness help me.