Hi Wez

It wasn't always that way. For the first year after separation I had zero control of my emotions. It's taken a long while to be this way. I think it's because I used to blame myself back then and think that I was somehow 'making' him want me when he didn't want to be married and so when he backtracked it was all my fault or in my imagination because I wanted to reconcile.

The more time has passed, I have realised it's the other way around with him that can't and won't let me go and more recently he has admitted this is the case.

The car thing was NOT good but maybe my withdrawal from him afterwards did him good, and I think telling him off for the sex jokes etc was a good idea because it teaches him to respect me.

I still do get upset from time to time, but I do it in private. He doesn't see me upset, and that's the key.

Besides, if I based my happiness upon one person, I would not be very fulfilled or interesting, so it's important to carry on with my life regardless.

Jo.