Angry that he has the power to actually do all these things.
He doesn't have the power to do that, Heather. Think about this.
Maybe I'm back to being angry b/c I'm pushing myself too hard to bring back loving feelings, etc. They're just not freakin there for me, is that OK? ... That love is a verb and I can bring back loving feelings.
Heather, "lover is a verb or a choice" isn't about having loving "feelings". It's about acting with love. H is NOT encouraging your feelings of love toward him, but trashing them by his trying to control you, and your feelings of love have diminished, and may have in fact, died. Yes, they can die.
I may be the only one here that thinks you oughtta leave that relationship, but I think you oughtta leave that relationship because Matt's just not doing the work to change and continuing to belittle you. It's not healthy, and you deserve far better.
Take a break, read something else.
Have you read "In Cold Blood"? Light reading compared to what we've been through.
