Talked to H tonight. Told him I missed him. He said "You do huh? It sounds like you're doing just fine." I said "I am. That makes it even a bigger compliment." I don't know though. Maybe he wants to be needed. That seems to hard to fake. I just don't. I have been having a wonderful time since he's been gone. My time spent with the kids has been awesome. My patience has improved. S4 is on a great sleeping routine. This morning he was up on his own at 8:15 instead of me having to wake him up, so it's more like a kids' schedule. I mean, what four year old sleeps in til 10am?? My sense is only those that get to sleep waaay to late. Usually I miss his help with the kids. Putting them both in carseats, getting them both out, handling them both when we go places, neutralizing fights. This time, I honestly haven't even missed his help. Maybe cause the kids are getting bigger and they're listening better.....cuz they understand consequences better, lol. So, I told him I missed him because I wanted him to feel missed, trying to create good feelings. But I don't really miss him. On a positive note though, I do feel more friendly toward him. Re-establishing the friendship is a really important step, so I will place a lot of heavy weight on the fact that I feel more friendly and regard it as a big step in the right direction.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
