Quote: I just started thinking about his pornography habit and how inferior it makes me feel. His determination to continue angers me to a point you cannot even begin to imagine b/c it does make me feel second best.
To me it's pretty clear why your H won't stop - because you want him to. I have an inkling that your H might be the teensiest bit controlling. He uses various things as weapons against you- your son, pornography, your family, karate etc. He knows how to keep you in line by making you insecure. So it has NOTHING to do with you, or your attractiveness or his desire for you. And everything to do with his need to control your confidence.
And how to take that power away? I guess the textbook answer is to "not care" so that it's not a weapon. But I appreciate how deeply personal sexuality and a sexual relationhip in a marriage are, so this is an issue that is hard to depersonalize, and maybe not healthy for you to choose to depersonalize. Especially as a means to get a desired result.
So folks, how does Heather take away H's power with the porn issue? Cuz I got no good answers!
On another note... how long have you been doing karate? Do you find that it's helped with your confidence? I'm considering something like that, since it's so out of character for me, and possible build up a neglected side of me (the assertive/confident and physical one). It just seems so much about respect etc that it might be good for me.
