Learning to trust myself II

[Burgbud]

...but in general our days are more than just peaceful, they are actually loving.

Outstanding!


It's a hard step to take b/c the last thing I want to do is talk about this.....but it may be what H needs.

That sounds like a good idea. Are you thinking this is a set time every week where you *will* talk about it, or more like a set time when you are willing to talk about it if he wants/needs to? It doesn't seem like you'd want to have to talk about it.


He called me about 5 minutes later expressing absolute disbelief that I left.

You set a boundary and enforced it. You're gonna have to do that and he's gonna have to get used to it. If he already resents the karate I can see why he'd be ticked that the karate seemed to be your priority over him. But you could have made it up to him if he'd kept the "bad guy" burden on you instead of taking it back for himself. Your recent interactions make it seem like he can learn, though!


...we're being more thoughtful and considerate of one another, but I'm still not at a point where I feel like putting his needs ahead of mine.

It's a pretty safe bet you're still putting his needs ahead of yours sometimes. And this wasn't necessarily a win/lose scenario. It kind of ended up that way when he got passive-aggressive on you.

Got any cool DB plans for his trip? Write him a letter, have the kids send him postcards, a suggestive email, anything?