One fight, a fight which he is now referring to as a "silly argument" His exact words were "Your father/family disowned me because of a silly argument".
What your dad did was to make a *threat* as his reaction to what was unfolding in front of him, OK? Listen, Heather, your dad is no more knowledgable of better communication skills than the next guy, OK? IMO, the question before you and Matt really is, "is dad's remark really a cause for the two of you to argue over or discuss anymore?". IMO, it's not. Why not? Because it belongs to dad, from whom it came, and not Matt and not you. You two are not puppets whose strings are to be pulled and tugged and for whom the issues are determined by the words that come out of someone else's mouth.
Maybe it would be better to go to him first before confirming plans and say "Matt, old friend and I are thinking about the four of us getting together for dinner tomorrow night. I'd like that. OK?"
It's not beyond expectation at all to go about things as if you're a couple, not an individual. That means not speaking/committing on behalf of your partner. If someone calls and says 'hey let's all 4 go out Friday night' and you commit to it, you're not considering your partner. The better response is along the lines of , "Sounds great, lemmee see if Matt can make it (because you cannot speak for Matt) and I'll get back to you".
