It was difficult to read your posting regarding Tuesday. You said that its been a year since "the kiss", but is sounds like H is still locked on to his feelings of betrayal and anger. I agree w/NY's alternate scenario for the conversation regarding going out w/friends. Reading your words doesn't give the true tone of your voice, but your thoughts give some insight. Although I agree with your thought of not wanting to sound like you made plans for H, NY's approach was "softer" and more inviting.
I've been reading chapters of a book on-line by Dr. Gunzburg entitled "Survive an Affair Now". The book is written for both spouses. Take a look at the section entitled Taking Responsibility for Your Relationship: Seeing Through the Eyes of Your Partner I've learned much by looking at the sitch thru the eyes of WAW. Maybe you could take a look at the "conversation" of Tue thru the eyes of H? and then "the kiss"? Maybe you will see something new, maybe not.
