Last Friday at work, Larry didn't have something go his way so he gave his co-worker the silent treatment, or if he did say anything, they were very short dismissive statements. But the Williams account needed tending to right away, because the execs were there for a meeting and were awaiting the report. So his co-worker Tara went to Larry's office to tell him that he needed to get to the presentation, then went back to the conference room, but Larry doesn't show up, so she goes back to Larry's office to tell him that his attendance was being requested, and Larry kept not paying attention to her while she was talking to him. So Tara says, "Are you intending not to show and me have to carry this by myself? Do you think I'm being unreasonable in this?" And Larry looks at Tara and says, "Yes." And no matter what else Tara said, Larry just kept on being a jerk with his answers. There was no way Tara was getting her point across, Larry wasn't going to answer her honestly, as he was answering whichever way would frustrate her and her purpose.
But finally, Larry shows up for the presentation, but passes on doing anything and afterwards, Tara finds him there staring out the window.
Larry got fired that afternoon.
his parents unexpectedly showed, in addition to his sister and her two kids who we planned to have
Wow... they just invited themselves over? Reminds me of my first in-laws. Last summer, as per usual, they came up from Florida to stay with their daughter, my first ex, "V". They usually come up in July and stay till school starts for the kids in September. V told them, prior to this trip, that she couldn't have them stay as house guests that long anymore and told them she'd be happy to have them stay for two weeks, that would be fine. You see, her mom drives her, and everyone around her, nuts (her dad was and is very passive and always submitted himself to her behavior out of fear of losing her, though every now and then he blasts her as being stupid. His line to her that I've heard him repeat over the last twenty-five years is, "What are you gonna be? Stupid all your life?" Nice, huh? Apparently though, now that she's in her 80's, the answer turns out to be "yes" I guess). She's insecure and plays the martyr, and gets enraged easily and always, and I mean always without exception, ruins every occasion with her grudge holding rants and overbearing, abusive ways. Doesn't take much to get her going. The friendliest of comments can trigger something that gets her blood boiling. She's hyper-critical of others and very self-centered. She stabs her friends in the back by talking against them when they're not around. I've seen people get up from the table and leave the room because of her ravings. V loves her mom, but can't take her for more than 24 hours, let alone two weeks, let alone the whole summer.
So they came up around July 4th, and ignored their host's request and stayed until September anyway. And during that time, because V's mom can't get around well anymore, they stayed perpetually camped at V's house and instead of getting out to visit with all their acquaintances here over the summer, they invited their friends over to see them throughout their stay, without asking V first if they could. In other words, they took over V's home and acted as if it was theirs. This massive interruption in V's plans and the kids' plans for the summer, plus the aggravation and annoyance her mom was daily putting her through, plus the umbrage felt at being made into a doormat, had V up the wall and finally venting off to her mom, telling her that she needed her house back, that it was unfair to ignore her request to limit the stay, that V has other things she wanted to do that summer and couldn't because she had to stay put to take care of them as guests. Instead of understanding how they were wearing on her daughter, her mom retorted by laying a guilt trip on V, as that's her way of manipulating people, saying, "What kind of a daughter are you? After everything we've done for you! I'm 82 now, and won't be around for much longer, you know! You should be happy we're here!" and sent V off in tears.
V was on the phone with me the other day and mentioned that her dad's health is failing, and started crying, sobbing, "If he dies first, then my mom is going to want to live here... I can't handle that... "
This may not be exactly what your in-laws are like, but the attitude that it's OK to visit upon people without calling or being invited first is kinda arrogant and thoughtless to me, and my first in-laws really exemplify that. Drawing from my experience, it sounds as if your in-laws reason that if their daughter and her kids were invited, then it's a "family" get-together and so they're to be welcomed, ignoring the fact that they weren't. My dad was kinda saw things like that too, but I always felt his reasoning was off and very self-centered. Then again, he was abusive too. Things were always "my way or the highway" with him, one of his fav sayings.
Gee Heather, I don't know if this post is helpful or a vent for me or both?
