maxsdad....here it is in a nutshell....snooping is a habit. So, that means it can be broken. NYS will tell you that the words you read in the email don't mean anything tommorrow. He would say that at one time she wrote you words that declared love and committment. Well, that meant something on that day...but not today.
So, I combined two thoughts into one paragraph.
First...snooping. I snooped like mad the first time she left in April. It killed me. I couldn't stop. Every time I snooped I learned more information. At first I thougth it was giving me power. It only hurt. Had I not snooped, we might be together. Decisions and thoughts were influenced by what I learned by snooping.
The second time she left in July, I vowed to myself not to snoop. The one time...one time...I did...I hurt myself. I just broke the habit. I don't need to hurt anymore. I am going to get better and save my life (with W or not) without snooping.
Second...the email. I't simple. It doesn't mean anything tommorrow. It just means something when she is writing it. People and feelings change everyday and every minute depending on the influences of the time. She could be ready to say.....I don't love you anymore... and you could walk in with a surprise lunch from her favorite take out place. She gets a smile and a warm thought about you.
