I'm reviving this thread....okay, I did what I wasn't supposed to but I snooped...I know it's bad for the PMA's but I just couldn't stop myself....I've had access to my W's email accounts and I couldn't stop myself from going in (she even changed her passwords but I figured them out, she has no idea)...anyhow below is what she wrote to a friend just today...
Quote: I do not see (me) and I getting back together. I think he is realizing that. We have begun sorting out our very messy financial situation. It is complicated by the fact that my business is doing really shitty.... ... I just hope we can weather the storm. So this leaves me financially dependent on (me). We are getting along very well, but it is still an uncomfortable situation for me. Throughout our marriage all of the financial disaster can be traced back to some decision I insisted we make. So here we are at the end of our marriage broke again because of me. The pisser is (me) is being really great about it. He has every right to tell me to go to hell, but he isn't.
This makes things even more uncomfortable because for some time now I have been very interested in someone else who is also very interested in me (NOT the reason I left (me)). I have told (me) this because for a brief time (while (me) and I were seperated) we entertained the idea of being more than just very good friends and I could not deceive (me), we have been through too much not to be honest with each other. We both agree (OM and I) that now is just not the time to begin what could be a long term relationship. We remain very close. He is the son of my friend K. They are dog groomers. My shop was located around the corner from theirs before I moved. We are both very active in dog rescue, so we work together often. Infact, we are planning to go down to New Orleans to help with the rescue efforts there. I realize that my life has been in turmoil to say the least for the last few years and that my head might not be screwed on tight these days, but I really think this guy is the one. It makes me realize just how wrong (me)and I are for each other. I think he (OM) feels the same way, but is as frightened by it as me. Maybe more so because he(OM) has been burned pretty bad in the past. Anyway, things have to settle down to some sense of normal (if that exists) before I would consider a relationship with him. So that leaves me back to sorting out details with (me) so we can separate our lives (to the extent that we ever will given that we have two children together). I just wish I was more financially stable. I hate the fact that he (me) is bailing me out yey again even though he knows that I am interested in someone else. It makes me feel pretty shitty. I did not ask for any of this to happen, it just did. I wish I could turn the clock back a few years, but I can't so I have to deal with the cards I have been given. My new strategy is to wake up each day and see what the hell is going to happen next. One thing I have learned is that things always sort themselves out the way they are supposed to be. Sometimes you are just supposed to be along for the ride. I feel like that has been my life for the last few years!
So, it's out there, and exactly as I suspected, but she is now telling people that she intends to ditch me when things get better. Financially we are tied together with all of our debt. She is sitting right across from me as I write this and is getting ready to go out for her birthday, doubtless OM will be there. WHAT DO I DO??? Should I immediately stop bailing her out. I'm supposed to take her out for her birthday tomorrow. We're supposed to go to her brother's wedding in two weeks. I was going to buy her a new dress for the wedding, but the heck with that now. I know I shouldn't have snooped, but this just confirms what I already knew. I just need to be buoyed up here. Within the next month, I have to go out of town three times for business, and all of those times I will be around many available women with whom I've partied before, and had it not been the fact that I was married and loved my wife, I had opportunities for hook-ups. I'm probably not going to be terribly resistant, especially if alcohol is involved.... HELP!
