Once again, NYS, you've come through and validated my gut feeling. I'm trying really hard to limit my contact with her, and any interaction beyond handing our son off is at her invitation. A funny thing I've noticed is that she has been making a lot of forward-facing "we" statements. i.e. "we're going to have to come up with a better plan for child care, we can't have another summer like this", "this money will come in just in time for Christmas, we can leave the credit cards at home for shopping this year" As I expressed earlier, her Bday is next week and I feel like I should make some overture to celebrate it. She even casually mentioned to me, if you were planning on getting me anything for my bday, don't bother, I know money is tight. This statement has been said many times in the past during tight financial times, and there was no difference in the delivery of it this time. So she's not refusing anything, and I already said I had something in mind that wouldn't cost a whole lot, to which she replied with a curious, "oh!?!" Plus, in three weeks, we have to travel to CT...believe it or not, I'm standing up in her brother's wedding...she has no responsibility, but we have to go up early. I'm sure there will be requests for family photos and such for the wedding album, so I'm kind of shooting for that as a milestone to see how she responds to any of these requests. I had already expressed concern to her family that I wasn't sure if I should be in the wedding, as I don't want to be photoshopped out of all the photos at a later date. They were concerned that I felt that way, and said I had better not back out, they would ask her to stay home before they asked me to. Early in our sep, she told them that they don't know the real me, but I'm thinking a lot of that was said in anger and as an attempt to justify her actions. They all sided with me and said that I'd have to be pretty cold and calculating to have not given some indication in 13 years that I was the a$$hole she was trying to make me out to be. She has since rescinded that assesment. Like I said, we have been enjoying positive interaction, i just don't know if I'm cracking the emotional wall at this point, and am any closer to some display of affection. That was one of my goals, to have her offer me an unsolicited hug or kiss at some point. am i being unrealistic?
