Still trying....

[DonH]

He had said to me, "...You want romance and stuff. What if I can't do that? I'm not saying I won't, but what if I can't?"

What that says to me is that he already was concerend that he couldn't do that. I'll even take it a step further in that it says to me that he thinks he can't do it because he just doesn't know how. Take it from someone who has a WAW who thinks that she told me in no uncertain terms what she needed - and ya know what, maybe she did - for 90% of the guys out there. Problem is, I must have fell in the remaining 10%. We have just barely started R talk but I can already tell that she is thinking (and has even sort of said it already) that "I told him all of that" Well she thinks she did, but I didn't get it. I'll take the blame for it even though I can't explain it. A light bulb just went on for me after D day when I picked up DR. Now I get it. I get so much of what she was trying to tell me. I just honestly didn't get it before and I don't think your H get's it either and he knows it - he was already afraid of it. I think he can do it if he really tries and you help him. Now again, you can only do 50% of it not all of it. As for the talk during sex, I think he is afraid that the only way he will be able to "perform" is in the manner. After all, it's been his MO or his crutch for so many years. He doens't know anything else or if he can do anything else. Let him know that it's okay, that you are not going to judge him and that sex can be just as good "your" way some times as it is now "his" way. Once, again, something really tells me that's what's going on here. I agree - he heard you alright. He heard you with both items. He just doesn't think he can meet your expications and is really worried about it.

Any chance that this makes sense?