Still trying....

[ValerieA]

Don, I already want to run like he** whenever I see a post from you ! LOL j/k

I completely agree with everything you wrote...about sitting H down and making sure he understands how VERY serious this all is, and should he screw up again, that will be the last time he does...at least with me.


Thanks, D. I figured it had to be something like the MC was in the middle of a session when he called....but I was also thinking the same negative thing...that H might have been stalling or making up some temporary excuse. I didn't say anything though because I didn't want to be negative either...Oops! I just did, didn't I?!

Thanks, guys. I'm very grateful for your input and advice.

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Journaling:

Ok....well some good news and not-so-good news.

Good news first -- H made it to the next level in his refinery technician training course !!! I know it's not the ideal career for many, but it means a whole lot to H, and I am very happy for him ! After all his studying and hard work on his tests, he's been considered as a candidate for hiring. I'm not clear on all the details yet (when I learn more, I can post about it), but all I know is that he gets to attend some sort of seminar on Nov. 8th, and he's VERY thrilled about it .....It's been a long time since I've heard him this excited about anything, so I'm glad. Good for H !

Alright...the not-so-good news -- I'm thinking MC isn't going to happen. I feel like I don't want to do it....Why?....Because H is just as confused as and/or as wishy-washy as I am about the whole thing.

He called me yesterday morning to tell me that not one MC had returned his call (I didn't ask him about it; he just called and told me himself). I told him that he probably wouldn't hear from anyone until next week sometime.

H was quiet for a moment then said, "I don't know, Valerie....Part of me wants to just be fair and split everything down the middle, and part of me...I don't know...I don't know what I want to do." I told him that I understood exactly how he felt...I feel the same way. I don't know either.

I think H would agree to a D if I said, "Ok, let's just sell the house and pay everything off," or something to that effect. I think he might think that it will be cheaper for him if the kids and I weren't in here, but he's wrong. I don't think he realizes that he would actually pay more per month if we did it his way...especially if he gets the refinery job since the support will increase as his pay does.

I don't know...I could be wrong, but I can't help feeling like he's up to something. He asked me if I really spoke with a lawyer...???...and I told him yes -- he told me to so I did. Then he asked if it was one here in town; I said yes. Then he asked what I got for the $100 I paid...???...I just told him I asked some things, and the ATTY advised me on what I'm entitled to and the laws that pertain to them. I asked him why he was asking me all this, and he said, "No...no reason...I was just wondering, that's all." Then I asked him who he saw, and he told me nobody...just an acquaintence at the card room who knows about D stuff....Hmmm.

Anyway, I really don't think MC is going to happen. If it does, I don't think it's going to help. I think we both really want out of this M, but I think H is just afraid to actually go through with it. I'm ready to say goodbye because I can't take his back and forth crap any longer.

Ok, venting a little bit there , and I'm coming down with a cold . This weather has been crazy here -- chilly in the morning, very warm in the afternoon, then cold again at night. I was going to go over to my friend's house for a while, but I'm a little out of it. I'm going to take some medicine now, and hopefully it'll help.

Thanks for listening.

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."