I'll be the first one to admit that what I think may not mean squat, but I wanted to tell you that I think you are doing the exactly correct thing at this point. Perhaps that means run like hell I would have two suggestions for you to consider and perhaps you can even somehow work in with this first one that it was suggested to you by a "friend" I wouldn't say you got it from an Internet board. However, being guys, even guys hanging by a thread in our M we sometimes still do not "get it". I would suggest that you tell M in no uncertain terms that this is his last chance. I would be very friendly but firm and say, look, I'm not even sure that I still want to be in this M but I think I am still open minded enough to give it a shot. However, this is it. You are not going to get another chance if you blow this one. That doesn't mean that if you make a mistake here or there that I'm done but it does mean that if you... and then list your deal breakers. I would ask him if he understands. Does he get how serious this is? I really would sit him down and tell him this because if he wants you back as much as he says he needs to understand that he now has to put 100% into his 50% of the relationship. Nothing less will do. Secondly, I would not stay on him about the MC. If he doesn't follow through, I think that is yet another signal for you. I am very proud of you for giving him the chance that you are giving. I think that you are earning your way out of the M or letting him earn his way back in. That is all that can be asked of you, but I cannot stress enough how important I think it is for you to speak in such clear terms to what it is you want and need and what it is that will kill his last chance. The ball is then in his court.
Again, I want to say what a great thing you are doing here. Use all that you have learned and stay on the road you are on. You will be very glad that you did - regardless of where you end up.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I would have two suggestions for you to consider and perhaps you can even somehow work in with this first one that it was suggested to you by a "friend" I wouldn't say you got it from an Internet board. However, being guys, even guys hanging by a thread in our M we sometimes still do not "get it". I would suggest that you tell M in no uncertain terms that this is his last chance. I would be very friendly but firm and say, look, I'm not even sure that I still want to be in this M but I think I am still open minded enough to give it a shot. However, this is it. You are not going to get another chance if you blow this one. That doesn't mean that if you make a mistake here or there that I'm done but it does mean that if you... and then list your deal breakers. I would ask him if he understands. Does he get how serious this is? I really would sit him down and tell him this because if he wants you back as much as he says he needs to understand that he now has to put 100% into his 50% of the relationship. Nothing less will do. Secondly, I would not stay on him about the MC. If he doesn't follow through, I think that is yet another signal for you. I am very proud of you for giving him the chance that you are giving. I think that you are earning your way out of the M or letting him earn his way back in. That is all that can be asked of you, but I cannot stress enough how important I think it is for you to speak in such clear terms to what it is you want and need and what it is that will kill his last chance. The ball is then in his court.
