Still trying....

[ValerieA]

Thank you, piglet . I know I would have to ask myself that question first...do I want to try?...I'm leaning towards 'no', but I honestly can't answer it right now.

Sometimes I think when H mentioned MC that it could be his way of throwing me some more crumbs. He knew I wanted to go to MC for a looong time...how do I know if this isn't just another attempt to slow me down in the D process? Just like the first time I told him we needed to talk about things...he admitted that he was deliberately avoiding me...he was hoping I would change my mind.

Thanks for your praise, too . Last week, I actually went back to my very first post and read through all of my threads (I'm a Pisces so I tend to reflect a lot ), and I, too, have seen a HUGE change in myself . I remembered some of those old helpless, hopeless feelings I went through...I never want to be in that place again.

My mom gave me some really good advice a couple of weeks ago that my grandmother gave to her. It's rather harsh but very true...Get up, stop your crying, and move on with your life....that's my grandma -- short and to the point...she's great !



D, you know that I have absolutely no problem with you getting all up in my business ! I love ya for it ...and I used to have one of those damn clown things...I hated it! So yeah, I definitely don't want to be one of those.

H never actually said that he wants to go through with the D nor did he say that he wants to try for the M again. I just find it very difficult to believe him at all anymore. All I hear are empty words, and all I see are...well, I don't even see anything. No specific actions that tell me or show me anything...except for when he took the boys for that one week to give me a much needed break.

I just really think it's all about the money for him...I'm sure I'll find out more on Friday when we talk.

Thanks for listening.

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."